Thursday, August 30, 2012

That Cruel One Line

This cycle is a bust. Our last-ditch effort at avoiding IVF didn't work.

That one line on a pregnancy test has to be one of the cruelest sights on the planet. At least, it is for me right now.

I can't even describe what it's like to feel as though you've lost something that was never there to begin with. It's a cruel reality that steals your right to feel grief. How do you grieve something that never was?

How do you keep it together when seemingly everyone around you is getting exactly what you want but cannot have?

How do keep faith that God is really there when you feel like you've been completely overlooked?

How do you come up with all of this money to "buy" a baby when you're a young couple? How many women in their 20s have to pay for what should come naturally?

This post has been really depressing, so I'll end on a joke. Anyone know where I can get $1,000 in the next two months? I've been watching Breaking Bad and it's giving me some ideas ;-)

P.S. The Thirty-One party is still open. It will be closed at midnight tonight. If you don't like purses but still want to contribute, see the donations button in the top right.


  1. I am so sorry. It's a cruel world when people that would make great parents have to struggle like this.

  2. We opened up a line of credit for our IVF. Try checking with all your local banks and credit unions - interest rates are low right now.

  3. Stay strong.. I'm fighting this fight with you, and I am soo so sorry you're having to endure this.

  4. So sorry! IF sucks! Keep your head up.

  5. hi there. IF does suck and I am right there with you, too. :(
    Some days are better than others and some days...well I want to throw those girls through a window... (such as my husband's cousin's 18 year old CHILD who got pregnant by sleeping around just to GET pregnant) - ok, so maybe not really but in my mind I'd like to. haha.
    All we can do is fight on and know that in the end, when we win, everything will be all right.
    A blogger friend keeps telling me "Everything's alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

  6. I do wish I could have somehow made this happen for you! I am always here with as many hugs as you need and a pretty sturdy shoulder.

    Love ya!
    Keep fighting!