A few days ago I asked my readers who are currently or who have dealt with infertility to send me some confessions of the feelings they get (or got) while on this journey. Reproductive difficulties bring out a lot of emotions. Some of these feelings are embarrassing and many are very painful to admit, so we just keep them to ourselves. This blog is all about openness and honesty, so here it is.
Confessions of Reproductively Challenged Women
~ I wish my uterus and ovaries had a RESET button! - Chiquita
~ I get really mad when women complain about being pregnant or who got pregnant by accident. - Anonymous
~ I am angry that my insurance company puts infertility treatments into the same category as a tummy tuck and won't cover any of it. - Rachel (Me)
~ It really makes me mad that my husband's cousin is having her second baby....at the age of 15! Well technically she will be 16 when the baby is born but who cares?! She is still a baby herself! - Shea
~ I cannot imagine a future in which I wouldn't have a child. That future wouldn't be worth living to me. - Rachel
~ I hate myself for not being able to really be happy for my friends who have been blessed with children. - Aisha
~ I definitely got MAD about all the people who got pregnant and then would get abortions! My feelings were that there were plenty of people who couldn't have children who would love to adopt! Why did they have to KILL the babies when SO many people couldn't have them and would LOVE to have a child to raise and give them a wonderful home! - Vicky
~ I feel like a failure as a woman. - Rachel
~ It absolutely floors me that any crack whore can have her own baby, but you have be a wealthy Mother Teresa to adopt. If I have to pass a "test" to mother YOUR child, you should have taken a "test" before getting knocked up. - Victoria
~ I know I'm supposed to believe that God is testing me, but sometimes I feel like he is punishing me. - Aisha
~ When I hear someone say that children are a blessing I wonder why God hasn't blessed me. - Rachel
~ It breaks my heart when people choose to be insensitive to IF. To tell a woman they are infertile has the same impact as telling them they have cancer. This confession is the reason I have choosen not to tell my family. The two friends I did tell, I ended up telling them that we decided to take a break from ttc, only because they were so hurtful and insensitive. - Shea
I have had parts of myself surface that I didn't know were there. I have discovered that I am a very jealous person, I am a more judgmental person than I thought I was, and I am VERY impatient. I have also discovered that my faith in God isn't as strong as it should be. I am working on these things, but it is definitely a work in progress.
Please comment with your own "confession!" Thank you to everyone who contributed to this posting! I love you ladies.
If you have a topic that you would like me to cover on this blog please let me know!