This has been one heck of a day. It's been one heck of a week. I have learned some important truths and gained some important insights.
1) Extreme amounts of stress can seriously affect the human body.
I have Crohn's Disease. Over the past three weeks I have been having major problems with my stomach. I thought that I was having a flare-up of my Crohn's. I went to the doctor and found out that it is not the Crohn's. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy and thankful I am that it isn't Crohn's. The doctor looked at my chart and saw that I was going through fertility treatments and she asked me if I had been under much stress lately. I told her that I had. She told me that my stomach pain is Irritable Bowel Syndrome that has been brought on by huge amounts of stress. I had to laugh (after crying of course). Just one more reason that I need to 'just relax!' On a serious note, the medicine she gave me is helping a lot.
2) NEVER lose hope.
We got some crappy news today. We have to stop Clomid and go straight to the fertility clinic before we decide our next step. At first, I thought that this news was the end of the world. After really thinking about it I realize that all hope is not lost. This journey is just going to be a little longer than we thought. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband that I am proud to share this journey with. I know that we will be parents. God would not have given me this desire if it wasn't meant to be fulfilled.
3) People will not only let you down, they will hurt you.
Infertility is a hard subject for many people. Since I became so outspoken about my struggles I have experienced a lot of negative feedback from people who I assume are uncomfortable with the subject. Some of that feedback has just been down right mean. It's okay though. I have so many wonderful people in my life who ARE loving and supportive and I can't help but feel kind of sorry for those who aren't. It is a shame that some people cannot get past raw emotion and honesty because they will miss out on knowing so many great people in life. Life is messy, it is raw, and sometimes it just sucks. But that IS real life! In my experience, the people who are the most open and honest about how they really feel are the most loving and most fascinating people. It is sad when people can't see past the discomfort that they feel towards people that they don't understand.
I love you guys! I hope everyone is doing well.