Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Adventures In Alternative Medicine

I decided to try a whole body cleanse after talking to someone I know who struggled with infertility for years and became pregnant twice after doing a Tiao He cleanse. I figured that it certainly couldn't hurt to try. I went to a local herb store yesterday and was helped by a kinesiologist in picking out the best cleanse for my body.

Those of you who know me well are going to laugh at this next bit. To 'test' which product would be best for me she held each product against my chest and had me stick my left arm out. She pushed lightly of various parts of my arm and gauged my physical reaction to each product to decide which one was right for me. I actually managed to get through all of this without laughing hysterically. The lady was just so sweet and helpful that I didn't have it in me to poke fun of her chosen profession. 

I ended up going with a whole body acai berry and super fruit cleanse. It contains several types of non-irritating, natural fiber. It also contains tons of antioxidant fruit extracts and probiotics. It is supposed to cleanse all of the major bodily systems. After the hell that my body has been through over the past year I figure that it certainly isn't a bad idea to try and purify it. 

 I have never been a very strong believer in alternative medicine. I mean, I do think there is value in certain natural products. For example, ginger is great for nausea; cinnamon is good for controlling blood sugar; and melatonin works wonders for some types of insomnia. However, when it comes to things like reading the energy in the body, acupuncture, and a general mind-body approach to health I have never been much of a believer. Infertility is now spurring me to try something that I NEVER would have considered in the past. 

Who knows? If this works or even just makes me feel better I may turn into a Birkenstock-wearing, guided meditation doing, all natural hippy. Hahaha! Ok, so that will probably never happen. I might change my mind about what I once considered to be 'kooky' alternative treatments though. You never know...

I'll be sure to let all of you know how it works for me!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

November Update

Hey Internet! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Honestly there just hasn't been that much to tell. This is my November update. I hate update posts. They are rarely anything but depressing. But alas, I am posting one.

We are on the last two months of a three month break from trying to get pregnant. We decided to take a break so that I could focus on losing weight. My doctor put me on phentermine. I lost ten pounds on it my first month! That makes my total weight loss for this year thirty pounds! I have started month number two of phentermine and am hoping for the same or even better results. I then have to wait another month to start trying to get pregnant again to make sure that the phentermine is completely out of my system. 

So I am in limbo once again. It is a frustrating place to be. We are going to make an appointment in the new year with a new RE. Until then we don't really know what all of our options are or what kind of treatments we are looking at in the future. As a control freak, this is completely stressing me out. I've spent the past month trying to prepare myself to hear that IVF is our only option. The hubs keeps reminding me that right now we have no reason to think that IVF will be our next step. I still can't shake the fear that our only option is going to be a treatment that seems so unattainable right now.

All in all, I think the break is good for us. I was starting to really lose my mind from all of the hormones, appointments, and months of dashed hopes. As all of my infertile friends know, Thanksgiving and Christmas are extremely hard. It hurts to see the happy families celebrating together and the kids ripping open their presents when the whole time I am wondering why I can't have that joy. I need to be in the best frame of mind possible during the holidays, so we picked the best time to take a break.

That is pretty much it for now. I promise to try to post more often and to do more humorous posts. These serious update posts are really bringing me down. Maybe my next post can be All The Reasons That I Hate Michelle Duggar's Uterus. Thoughts?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Our First Infertility Anniversary

Today marks one year that my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant. This is a very hard day for me. I really thought one year ago that I would at least be pregnant by now. I never dreamed that I would be looking up the cost of IUI or IVF online or scoping out Reproductive Endocrinologists one year ago. Yet here we are. 

I have changed in so many ways over the past year. I have lost a lot of the optimism I once had about life. I miss that part of myself. I miss the hope I once had when dreaming about my future. I've also changed in some positive ways. My husband and I are closer than ever because of the heartache that we have endured and continue to endure together. I also have much more compassion for people who are going through hard times because of what I am experiencing.

Going through any hardship can be incredibly lonely. Most people are only fair-weather friends and they don't really want to stick with you through the muck and the misery. When you have a friend or a family member who stands by you through the hard times you are a very lucky person indeed. People like this are rare, but they are so precious.

One year ago I had no clue that one in eight couples experiences some type of infertility. Now I can think of at least five women that I know personally who are also currently going through this. It makes me incredibly sad that I didn't know about their suffering until I opened up about my own. Infertility is not something that people should feel ashamed about. It is a medical condition. The silence surrounding this medical condition has to be broken. I hope that I can contribute to breaking that silence.

In closing I have a few words for the precious child that I haven't met yet.

We have a room that we already call yours. I don't go in there much because it makes me cry, but I make sure that it stays clean so that it will be ready to decorate when you come. I love you so much and long for you constantly. We really thought you'd be here by now. Please come soon. We'll be waiting.